Saturday, March 26, 2011

Writer's Block

I don't know what to write anymore. It's been a while since I write and I haven't read anything for quite a while as well. I just realized that I have not done anything interesting for quite some times. Something that is worth writing.

Life journey, well, it is something. A story to tell. But not at the moment. And not when someone knows me. Maybe I'll write somewhere people don't know that it's me. For some reason, I still don't feel comfortable to share personal stories online, except when I am writing anonymously.

Nevertheless, my life has been, ermm, rather interesting in a way that I have learnt quite a thing or two about life. But not that interesting or academia where I can share it on my blog. One day I'll do it (urrghh so much promises for one day).

As I said, this is a new beginning. I am opening a new chapter in my life and I want it to be filled with stories of loves, friendships, families, hobbies, photos and anything that put colors in my life.

I know I screwed up a lot for these couple of years. I don't regret the experience but I do regret some decisions I have made in life. That doesn't mean I want to be stuck regretting. Everyone make mistakes. What matters is what are you going to do to fix it? Or to move from there? And what you learnt from it?

In this past 2 years, I have the privilege of meeting a very kind lady, who treats me like her own daughter. She's a very good listener and I had confided a lot of things with her. One time I asked her, why is it that God put me through all these troubles? I just can't seem to understand? Am I being punished?

She looked at me kindly and said that God loves me, that's why. God only test those He loves. She had explained further which at the moment I can't seem to recall. But she manages to make me feel from disappointed to love for God.

I think that is what I am missing. This concept of love and I plan to explore more. I'll be writing everyday (I'll try!). It's part of my healing process. :)

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