Good Bye

"I've had to say goodbye more times than I've liked, but everyone can say that.

And no matter how many times we do it, even when it's for the greater good, it still stings.

And though we'll never forget what we've given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward.

What we can't do is live our lives always afraid of the next goodbye, because chances are they're not going to stop.

The trick is to recognize when a goodbye can be a good thing; when it's a chance to start again."

-Ugly Betty

I've said more than my share of Good Byes, ever since I was little. All to those I love the most in my whole life. Two deaths and one is the effect/ complication of one of the deaths. To conclude, all these good byes were forced upon me and were so sudden that I wasn't prepared to any of it.

I always think that if God give me some signs before these losses, maybe it wouldn't be as hard as it had been. Maybe I wouldn't hurt as much. Ever since then, I have prayed constantly to God to not take away the person I love, to not let the ones who I love say Good Bye to me. I prayed that if it has to be a separation, make me the one leaves, who say the good bye, who died.

My prayers are definitely answered. About 2 weeks ago, I have decided to say Good Bye to a person who I have never imagined that I can love that much.

It's a different kind of Good Bye. For one, I have been thinking about it for many months. Secondly, it was me who said it, who walked away. It should be easy right? After all, that is what I had requested.

Then again, God proves it again. He knows best.

Saying good bye and walking away from the person that you have loved and still love the most your whole life has to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. To make it even worst, I have to cut all contact and ignore all pleas. I have to harden my heart and a piece of me died that day.

But I guess, that is it about life. Sometimes, the sun shines the brightest after the wildest storm. It is just something that has to happen and I have to believe that it is for the greater good. I was thinking last night that it would be wonderful if I can erase this memories so that it wouldn't be too painful. But then again, I will not be who I am today without this experience.

Like Betty said, the trick is to recognize when good bye can be a good thing; when it's a chance to start again. I think I recognized this accurately.